A year ago today I was scared, depressed, sad, did I mention scared? Last Dec 29 was my day to turn myself in... it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I knew that it was something I had to do, well as they sy you play you gotta pay. And so it was so that I had to pay. I was scared more than anything because I did not know what was going to happen with my hubbys case while I was gone. As he had court in January while I was going to be locked up. I was really scared of what would happen if he were to be deported while I was serving my time. I had been sentenced to 180 days, out of that I knew I had to do atleast 120 days. It was very hard having to say good bye to my kids, as I knew I wouldn't see them in all that time. I didn't want them to see me in jail, or even to know I was there. All that time they thought I was working in Colorado.
I remember clearly that evening, hubby went to drop me off at 7pm, it was a Monday. They didn't take me in till 9pm, and they had me downstairs in booking till 9am the next morning. As soon as they took me upstairs to a cell I feel asleep and slept all day long, I tried to sleep all day & night kuz when ever I was awake all I would do is cry.
I was in a cell by myself until the beggining of Feb, all that time that I was alone I spent reading the bible & reading everything and anything that was available to me. That way my day would go by so fast. By this time hubby had gone to court and they had given him another court date for June, I was to be out by mid April, so I was able to relax and not worry about what would happen.
While there I meet quite a few girls, it is so sad to be locked up, but more sad to be locked up and not know when and if you will ever be out. I went in knowing that I would be out in fur months, but there are people there that are fighting their cases and don't even know when they will be out, if they will be at all. I always pray for all of them, and since I've been out I've been writting to them, and sending them cards on the holiday, and their birthdays. It is heartbreaking to go thru these holidays knowing that they are all still there, specially for the ones that have kids. I am no one to judge any of them, and wheather they commited the crimes they are there for or not, I will always be praying for them and writting to them. I do hope and pray that they get to come out soon to their families.
I got to come home to my family on April 18, 2009. That experience away from my kids & hubby really taught me to treasure what I have. All this drama that hubby and I are going thru has brought us closer & stronger. We know we got ourselfs where we are, we know we are not perfect, and we have learned from our mistake. A very costly mistake. One that we can never take back. We are paying for it, and probably will for the rest of our lives, But we are both strong and have gotten so far, and with God's help we will keep on going.
As of today we still have no word on his case. But we are very hopefull that things will work out in our favor. For we know God has a plan for us, and we are patiently waiting for it.
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